By Natalie Salameh
I thought it would be nice for me to share my personal conversion and
vocation story with you. Since joining
the Maronite Servants of Christ the Light in January 2014, I have been asked by
many people, “so what is a girl from Sydney, Australia doing in Dartmouth, Massachusetts?
You’re a long way from home.”
This is true, I am a long way from home (and my Aussie accent gives me
away every time), but Jesus’ Sacred Heart is the real home, and my following
testimony will tell you why.
I originally discerned religious life when I was in high school and was
just fourteen years old. I used to dream of the day that I would enter the
convent. My discernment continued and at sixteen, I asked a community of nuns in
Sydney to accept me as a postulant. My request was turned down because I was
too young, but at the time, it was a huge blow that was hard for me to accept. However,
God had other plans because he tends to write straight with crooked lines!
To be honest, I lost interest in pursuing a vocation to consecrated
religious life. I immersed myself in my studies, and I found to my surprise
that I loved academia, and gradually came to be consumed by it. I went on to
University where I studied Economics and Political Science, with hopes of one
day having a political career. Thoughts of a religious vocation were long gone,
or so I thought.
After my studies, I got an excellent job with our third tier of
Government in Australia, Local Government in the Industrial Relations Unit. I
spent six years working my way up the ranks. I found that the more and more I
progressed at work, the less happy I became. Indeed, if I could sum up my
feelings back then, I would say that I felt empty and very much alone.
I had a gaping void in my heart, which I was filling with all kinds of
worldly distractions such as nice clothes, and dining out. I even bought my
very own home, hoping that this might solve the problem! I often wonder what
God was thinking when he was allowing me to pursue these earthly objects. I
often picture Him shaking His head at me in disapproval. But No, he was waiting
for the right time to tap me, his daughter, on the shoulder with the utmost
mercy and compassion, and remind me that only he can fill the void in my life. And
this is precisely what Our Lord did.
I recall vividly back in January 2013, kneeling down in prayer and
imploring the intercession of St. Rita of Cassia, the patroness of impossible
cases, petitioning her to take away my feelings of emptiness and loneliness. I
remember telling her that I felt guilty asking for something more, when I had
so much already, but I said to her that something was missing, and I didn’t
quite know what. I asked God through her intercession to send me what was
missing. So what was missing? It was Jesus.
Shortly after that I had some very powerful stirrings of the heart
towards Our Lord Jesus. I had always gone to Mass every Sunday, but I found
myself constantly preoccupied by him. All of the sudden he was there in every
thought, in every word, in every prayer; he was there in everything and
everyone I encountered. These feelings of longing for God, of longing to be
near him, close to him, beside him, surrounded by him cannot be fabricated, no
matter how hard you try. This was God’s call, he was beckoning me to come, to
leave all for his sake. At the time these feelings stirred, I was left utterly
confused, not really knowing what was happening to me.
When Mother Marla Marie and Sr. Therese Maria were on mission in Sydney
back in February 2013, I remember hearing them speak about how they discerned
their call to religious life at one of our youth group meetings at my parish of
St. Charbel’s. After they had finished speaking, something penetrated deep
within me and struck a chord, perhaps because I was experiencing something
similar to them.
I knew that Mother Marla Marie and Sr. Therese Maria were speaking
again on the Voice of Charity Radio Station. So I tuned in to hear and my old
feelings of wanting to enter consecrated religious life stirred again with
renewed fervor. I came to realize that the Holy Spirit was gently leading me
towards the Maronite Servants, by planting a seed of yearning in my heart.
The Holy Spirit gave me the courage to email Mother Marla Marie only
two short days later and explain to her what I was experiencing. I met her and
Sr. Therese Maria at my parish on the eve of their departure to the U.S. I recall
speaking to Mother Marla Marie that evening and finding peace at last.
I visited the Maronite Servants for in May, to get a glimpse of
religious life and to see the Maronite Servants in action. Not only did I find
my true calling and vocation, I found my home. The rest is history.
A vocation, whether it is to the married state or religious life, is
fundamentally a gift from God. In the words of St. Gianna Beretta Molla, “Our concern then should be to know the will
of God. We should enter onto the path that God wills for us, not by “forcing
the door”, but when God wills and as God wills…”
My message is to all the young women who are searching for goodness,
happiness, truth and beauty. I was searching for it too, but I was looking in
the wrong place. The world can’t give you lasting joy, but that’s the first
place we all look for it. Stop looking for it there because you won’t find it
there! “Whom else have I in the heavens?
None besides you delights me on earth” (Psalm 73: 25).
For those interested in discerning religious life with the Maronite
Servants of Christ the Light, please contact Mother Marla Marie at
sister@maroniteservants.org.
